I did it. I went through the baby clothes. It was fun. It was sweet. It made me smile. But, it also made me very sad. It made me ponder how life has changed since my first baby wore those tiny little clothes… the people and animals who have passed on, the health changes in loved ones still here, the divorces and marriages, the friendships that have fallen to the wayside, new homes and jobs, and the personal growth that comes with it all. But mostly, I was very aware that the baby-making stage of my life is over.
I have been putting it off forever. In fact, I'm still putting off getting rid of some baby gear for silly reasons. But, last week, I was finally ready to go through the clothes.
I kept telling myself the whole time that I have to let these things go so I can make room to let good things in.
It's such a simple idea from the practical standpoint. My girls are growing, and we need the space. However, I think it's true from the energetic standpoint, too (yep- I know, a little woowoo, but I'm going there).
If we continue to hold on to objects, feelings, attitudes that no longer serve us, than how can we grow and develop? I don't want to stagnate. I want to open my arms and my heart to new experiences, joy and laughter, abundance, and all kinds of good things.
If my energy is tied up in memories and how sweet life WAS versus how lovely it IS and is GOING TO BE, I'm kinda telling the universe, God, or whatever/whoever works for you, that I don't care as much about my future.
As humans, we tend to put our focus on what we value. If we value a clean house, then we make sure we make the time in our schedule to clean or we find the money to pay someone else to do it. In doing so, we sacrifice something... either time doing something else or money we could direct in another direction.
Every decision in our lives comes down to the question, "What do we value more?" Sleeping in each morning or getting up early to read, work out, etc. before the day starts. Feeling good in our bodies or eating whatever food we want. Clean house or time with the kids. Taking the job that makes more money but requires more time away from home or the job with decent money but a better schedule. Finishing every episode of This Is Us you have on your DVR or turning it off after one episode so you can get to sleep at a decent time.
Big decisions or little decisions. They each create an energetic message we put out there about what we value and what we have room for in our lives, that then affects what comes back to us.
So, one of those decisions we should be making is, "What do I want to be holding on to and what do I want to let go? What does that look like in my life, and how will my decision serve me best?"
If your heart is full of resentment or hate, then there's no room for love. If your focus is on debt and fear that you'll never have any money, then there's no room to receive money. If your head is full of thoughts on how awful you feel, then there's no room for feeling vibrant and healthy.
For me, I was holding onto baby clothes, literally taking up space in my basement where I want to create a home gym and another fun family room. More importantly, I was holding onto memories of the past and feelings of sadness and denial that that part of my life is over.
These thoughts, besides creating a bit of stress for myself, were also keeping me from fully experiencing and appreciating the stage that my family is in NOW.
Jojo is not quite two, and it's one of my favorite ages. She is still a baby, and she is so darn cute. She surprises me daily with her growing verbal abilities. Shelby is (F**@#-ing) four, and stepping out of her preschooler days as she's moving towards being a big school-aged kindergartener. And sweet Celia is in second grade(!!) transitioning to full-fledged big kid status as she starts to question life a bit... including Santa :(
There's so much good in what is going on NOW and what is to come, that I don't want to lose a minute of it. So, off to a women's shelter you go, darling baby clothes. I hope you give another girl mama the enjoyment that you've given me. But I need the space in my house and my heart.
What things are you struggling with letting go of? How would your life look if you finally LET GO?